Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
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Chuck Norris can cash two party, out of state checks with no ID, or else!
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Scissors are told not to run with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't try to find clowns they try to find him.
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Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.
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When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
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Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet?
A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
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The AC/DC song "Highway to Hell" is about Chuck Norris' driveway.
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