Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
Chuck Norris can cash two party, out of state checks with no ID, or else!
Scissors are told not to run with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't try to find clowns they try to find him.
Chuck Norris often walks on Bikini Atoll during tests to get a tan.
When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet? A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
Chuck Norris's tombstone will say, "He's finally taking a nap, do not wake."
The AC/DC song "Highway to Hell" is about Chuck Norris' driveway.