Chuck Norris doesn't look both ways before he crosses the street... he just roundhouses any cars that get too close.
Chuck Norris can access private methods.
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris. Once.
The actual definition of U.F.O is Chuck Norris's Toy Frisbee.
Chuck Norris can won the winter Olympics... In the summer.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.