Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Chuck Norris' feminine side is manlier than the manliest man's manly side.
If only telemarketers would have the balls to call Chuck Norris... Then none of us would have to put up with them again.
Chuck Norris does not wear a condom. Because there is no such thing as protection from Chuck Norris.
Reading Chuck Norris Facts is the same as learning history.
Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
The only reason you woke up this morning is because Chuck Norris allowed you too.
Chuck Norris once broke the land bike speed record with a bike with a lost chain and a missing back wheel.
World War II started because Burger King screwed up Chuck Norris' order. Today Burger King NEVER gives you onions unless you ask for them.
When Chuck Norris visits Europe on vacation, France surrenders.