Chuck Norris steps into the confession booth.
The Priests confess his sins.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
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Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
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The actual definition of U.F.O is Chuck Norris's Toy Frisbee.
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Chuck Norris' day consists of 25 hours.
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Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
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When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
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When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged.
He holds up the phone and money falls out.
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Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate.
It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
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