Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
Dinosaurs once crossed Chuck Norris. Once.
The actual definition of U.F.O is Chuck Norris's Toy Frisbee.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
On a high school math test, Chuck Norris put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Chuck Norris solves all his problems with Violence.
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
When Chuck Norris calls 1-900 numbers, he doesn’t get charged. He holds up the phone and money falls out.
Chuck Norris invented his own type of karate. It's called Chuck-Will-Kill.
The dinosaurs aren't extinct. They're just hiding from Chuck Norris.