The best Chuck Norris jokes

When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
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Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick with his arms.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a wristwatch. He always knows when it's time to kick some ass.
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Elvis Presley, Richard Petty, Budweiser, and Michael Jackson all call Chuck Norris "The King".
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Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
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Chuck Norris is the reason why Professor X is on a wheelchair.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need health care, everyone in his viewing range does.
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Chuck Norris once drank a Red Bull and the can grew wings.
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