Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction. He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake
Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris’ PC doesn’t have a Recycle bin – because when Chuck Norris deletes something, there’s no chance of it coming back.
Chuck Norris is the only one who has a silver goldfish.