The best Chuck Norris jokes

Bruce Lee didn't die from an allergic reaction. He died cause Chuck Norris decided to not let him live anymore.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake
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Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
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Chuck Norris thinks that anyone who can't survive cranial impact with a steam hammer simply isn't making an effort.
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When Chuck Norris was in kindergarden he made his teacher spit out her gum.
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Chuck Norris never needs help, help needs Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris’ PC doesn’t have a Recycle bin – because when Chuck Norris deletes something, there’s no chance of it coming back.
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Chuck Norris is the only one who has a silver goldfish.
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