Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring. His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"
Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
Chuck Norris can travel back in time into the future.
Chuck norris farted in a ditch and the grand canyon was created.
When Teddy Rosavelt said there is nothing to fear but fear itself he obiously hadn't met Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris used to be a soccer referee. He lost the job after giving penalties to the players: Death Penalty.
The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.