Chuck Norris wins every political campaign, but politely declines the jobs.
Chuck Norris once squeezed an M&M so hard that it turned into a Skittle.
Jason Bourne fought Chuck Norris but he can't remember because now he has amnesia.
Chuck Norris can kill with blank bullets.
Always be yourself, unless you can be Chuck Norris, then always be Chuck Norris.
There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
Dear Chuck Norris, Could you please close the door of your refrigerator. Thank you, Europe
A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
When Chuck Norris was born, the only person crying was the doctor.
Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945. World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945. What a coincidence.