The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945. World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945. What a coincidence.
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When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
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People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul. It's a myth. Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
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When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
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Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick with his arms.
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Chuck Norris doesn't wear a wristwatch. He always knows when it's time to kick some ass.
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Scissors are told not to run with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.
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