Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945. World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945. What a coincidence.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul. It's a myth. Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick with his arms.
Chuck Norris doesn't wear a wristwatch. He always knows when it's time to kick some ass.
Scissors are told not to run with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
Two things in life are certain: Death and a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris inhales carbon monoxide and exhales oxygen.