Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
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Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
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Chuck Norris once played with Legos.
The Ancient Egyptians still thank him for it.
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Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
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Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke.
The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.
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Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
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Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb.
On his penis.
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Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared.
These are known as black holes.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.
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