Chuck Norris sprinted 2 marathons - backwards.
Why did satan die before judgment day, Chuck hated him.
Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The Ancient Egyptians still thank him for it.
Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
Chuck Norris was once part of a knock knock joke. The Joke ended abruptly when after the first knock the door blew up killing the man behind it.
Chuck Norris is the reason terrorists hide in caves.
Chuck Norris is the only known mammal in history to have an opposable thumb. On his penis.
Sometimes when Chuck Norris stares at the stars too long they get scared. These are known as black holes.
They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
Chuck Norris is so strong, he can punch a hole through thin air.