The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.
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has 49.00 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military
If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'till." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn't Jesus birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus' birthday.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: birthday, Chuck Norris, god
Chuck Norris was supposed to be in the movie Halloween but the director thought it would be kind of stupid for Michael Meyers to stab himself in fear.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Halloween, stupid
The entire movie of "Anaconda" was recorded inside Chuck Norris' pants.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The snake was punished because Chuck Norris tempted it to ate the apple.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
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