Chuck Norris has a diary.
It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
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Chuck Norris can fly a submarine.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
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With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sweat.
He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
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Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Chuck Norris knows no fear but fear has been known to hide from Chuck Norris.
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