King Kong climbed the Empire State Building because Chuck Norris was waiting at the bottom.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
Chuck Norris built the hospital in which he was born.
Chuck Norris can walk on water..,he's not God...the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.