People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
Ghosts actually have their own kind of tv. The show that scares them the most is called "Chuck Norris Caught On Tape".
You know the movie, Alien VS Predator? Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.
Chuck Norris's urin is said to add 300 horse power when added to your gas.
Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
Once, Chuck Norris told Nike to "just do it..." and it did.
When Chuck Norris has a heart attack, he attacks back.
Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris? The only good news is you know when you will die.