When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle of water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris. This is just a joke, we know Chuck Norris doesn't fall..ever
Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back. But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time
Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.
Chuck Norris sees dead people...and they run.
James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up.
There is no backspace button on Chuck Norris' keyboard. Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.