The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
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has 69.86 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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has 69.82 % from 135 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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has 69.73 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
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has 69.61 % from 196 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
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has 69.37 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
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has 69.15 % from 253 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sex
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
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has 69.14 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
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has 69.05 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.
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has 68.84 % from 226 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, game, war
The original plan for Hiroshima and Nagasaki was to send in Chuck Norris. We decided to go the humane route.
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has 68.80 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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