Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
When Chuck Norris falls into a puddle of water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris. This is just a joke, we know Chuck Norris doesn't fall..ever
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
Before his rise to fame, Jaws was Chuck Norris's goldfish.
Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
The Dead Sea was once alive before Chuck Norris bathed there.
Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
Chuck Norris kicked the world once, it hasn't stopped spinning.
It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.