Chuck Norris can walk on water..,he's not God...the water is just afraid of getting him wet.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
Beetlejuice is afraid to say Chuck Norris 3 times.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris built the hospital in which he was born.
Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
Chuck Norris can freeze water using a toaster.
Chuck Norris rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood.
Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.