An eclipse is just the suns attempt to hide from Chuck Norris.
Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.
Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute. The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris? A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris once played The Price Is Right. The prices attempted to guess the numbers Chuck Norris was thinking of.