Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
Chuck Norris can hammer a wall into a nail.
If Chuck Norris was on Minute to Win it, they would need 59 seconds of filler.
Chuck Norris can choke you to life.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
Chuck Norris's urin is said to add 300 horse power when added to your gas.
Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.