When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute. The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
If Chuck Norris was on Minute to Win it, they would need 59 seconds of filler.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.