The best Chuck Norris jokes

Eminem says "I'm not afraid". Chuck Norris says "I love the way you lie"
Vote: has 77.13 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
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If Chuck Norris met Dora the Explorer, he'd introduce her to his Boots.
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When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
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At museums Chuck Norris is allowed to touch the art.
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Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
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Chuck Norris would have attacked the Death Star with the Shield Generator still up.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
Vote: has 76.99 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris once got his arm stuck in a canyon. After 5 days of pain and agony, Chuck Norris had to amputate the canyon. It was a tough choice...
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Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
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