When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
Chuck Norris kills 100% of germs.
Bill Gates owes Chuck Norris money.
Chuck Norris once won a Scrabble tournament despite getting only Z's and Q's in his rack.
There is no backspace button on Chuck Norris' keyboard. Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
Chuck Norris doesnt' walk away from explosions, explosions walk away from Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.