When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute.
The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
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Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
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If Chuck Norris was on Minute to Win it, they would need 59 seconds of filler.
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With the rising cost of gasoline, Chuck Norris is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
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People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
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Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
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Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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