Chuck Norris can win a Grammy from coughing.
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Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
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When you die on Earth you go to hell.
When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
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Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
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At museums Chuck Norris is allowed to touch the art.
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Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands.
They are now The Islands.
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A blind man ran into Chuck Norris and got his sight back.
Unfortunately, the first and last thing he saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.
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When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute.
The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
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