Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
Chuck Norris made a statue bleed.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.
Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
When Chuck Norris plays Nazi Zombies it's the Zombies who build barriers.
Chuck Norris's urin is said to add 300 horse power when added to your gas.