If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris rubs two pieces of fire together to make wood.
Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute. The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.
Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.