If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
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People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
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Chuck Norris once went sky diving, he did not use a parachute.
The spot he landed on is now known as the Grand Canyon.
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The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-.
These are also Chuck Norris' initials.
This is not a coincidence.
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The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real.
It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
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Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
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Chuck Norris teaches math to solve its own problems.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer.
Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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