Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil.
It couldn't keep up.
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Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
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When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital.
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Chuck Norris uses a gun to be humane.
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When you die on Earth you go to hell.
When you die in hell you go to Chuck Norris' house.
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Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
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Chuck Norris once climbed Mt Everest by accident.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
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Three seconds after Chuck Norris was shot, the bullet came out screaming.
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When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
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