Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris played the card game War with a friend, France surrendered.
Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Chuck Norris built the hospital in which he was born.
Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"