Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound. Chuck Norris just picks the buildings up and moves them out of his way.
Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil. It couldn't keep up.
When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
Chuck Norris finished the Never Ending Story.
Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris got a homerun in bowling.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.