Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
Chuck Norris does not need to freeze water to make ice, he just stares at water and scares it stiff.
Chuck Norris can straighten a circle.
Chuck Norris writes on pencils with paper.
When Chuck Norris donates blood he refuses the needle, he asks for a knife and a bucket.
Chuck Norris is the meaning of life. Too bad he's also the meaning of death.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is the only one that can turn lemonade into lemons.