Chuck Norris once ran on the treadmil. It couldn't keep up.
Clark Kent had to call himself "Superman" because "Chuck Norris" was already taken.
Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
Chuck Norris once played with Legos. The result was The Great Pyramids.
A blind man ran into Chuck Norris and got his sight back. Unfortunately, the first and last thing he saw was a roundhouse kick to the face.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy. That is why there is no life on any of them.
Q: What do you get when you cross a dinosaur with Chuck Norris? A: Nothing. Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.