Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer. Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
Transformers are just another name for Chuck Norris' grade 5 science project.
There was no Big Bang at the beginning of the Universe, Chuck Norris simply sneezed.
Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
If you see the Blue Screen of Death on your laptop... it's because Chuck Norris found out you were reading Chuck Norris jokes.
Chuck Norris doesnt' walk away from explosions, explosions walk away from Chuck Norris.
Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
All men are born equal. Chuck Norris was just born more equal than everyone else.