Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
Bill Gates owes Chuck Norris money.
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!