Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
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Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
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Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
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When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
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When Chuck Norris jumps from a building, the concrete commits suicide.
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Bill Gates owes Chuck Norris money.
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Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
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Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
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