The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can spit through bulletproof glass.
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Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can dodge rain.
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Why does Chuck Norris have a beard? A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
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Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
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In a fight between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris would win. No questions.
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E only equals MC² because Chuck Norris allows it too.
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Chuck Norris uses a gun to be humane.
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Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
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The beatles originally said they were "Bigger than Chuck Norris", John Lennon was simply a warning.
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Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
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