The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
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Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California.
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Chuck Norris went an hour without killing... just to kill some time.
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The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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Across all of the infinite number of parallel universes the version of Chuck Norris is the same. Nature knows perfection when she sees it.
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The Hulk is Green because he envys Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris shot an arrow down with an apple.
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Chuck Norris once played The Price Is Right. The prices attempted to guess the numbers Chuck Norris was thinking of.
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There was no Big Bang at the beginning of the Universe, Chuck Norris simply sneezed.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smoke cigars. He smokes smoke grenades.
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