The best Chuck Norris jokes

James Bond was trained by Chuck Norris, as his butler.
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Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity, he got it back.
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Chuck Norris can press "Pause" on reality.
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E only equals MC² because Chuck Norris allows it too.
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Sundials tell the time according to the position of Chuck Norris.
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Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.
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A total eclipse won't look directly at Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once spelled the entire alphabet using only M&Ms.
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Keep your friends close, and your enemies close to Chuck Norris.
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When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
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