Chuck Norris can find the end of a circle.
At museums Chuck Norris is allowed to touch the art.
If Chuck Norris were president, he would protect the secret service.
Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
Chuck never auditioned for Walker Texas Ranger, a camera crew turned up at his house and secretly filmed him.
Chuck Norris can put out fire with gasoline.
Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.