Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone.
This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to clear his sinuses.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
Chuck Norris' favorite game is winning.
When the metal detector goes off at the airport, it is just verifying Chuck Norris walked through.
Chuck Norris once stared death in the face...
Death pissed his pants.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
Chuck Norris didn't survive the first night in Minecraft, the first night survived Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris was 5 he threw a paper airplane.
It landed yesterday.