The only reason Godzilla goes back into the ocean is because Chuck Norris is expecting him... for dinner.
Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
Chuck Norris could catch that damn acorn in those ICE AGE movies!
Chuck Norris is the only one who doesn't have to tell PayPal to switch the funding source to his credit card.
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.
Chuck Norris can keep up with the Kardashians.
Chuck Norris never has a deja vu. No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
Chuck Norris once walked down a street with his fists in his pockets. He was then arrested for concealing two deadly weapons.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.