Chuck Norris doesnt walk, the earth moves under his feet.
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Chuck Norris can make you fold a Royal Flush.
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Chuck Norris finds it impossible to understand the concept of impossibility.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning.
The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.
One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church.
They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.
The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"
Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.
The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy.
After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church.
The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.
The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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All wars stopped when Chuck Norris said, "Can I apply for the army?"
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When a mime sees Chuck Norris, he makes a glass wall and pretends he's dead.
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Chuck Norris will never die.
The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
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Sundials tell the time according to the position of Chuck Norris.
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The light at the end of the tunnel is actually Chuck Norris holding a flashlight.
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Even Google can't find Chuck Norris.
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