When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
Chuck Norris can swim in an empty pool.
Chuck Norris saw the Invisible Man.
Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed calls.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.