When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord.
He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
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Chuck Norris can swim in an empty pool.
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Chuck Norris saw the Invisible Man.
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Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
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When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed
calls.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
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If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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