The best Chuck Norris jokes

When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord. He then used it to strangle the doctor who slapped him on the but.
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has 73.04 % from 181 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, doctor
Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
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has 73.02 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can swim in an empty pool.
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has 73.01 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris saw the Invisible Man.
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can speak French in Russian.
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has 72.95 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed calls.
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has 72.85 % from 155 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
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has 72.84 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, game, life
James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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has 72.80 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, death
Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
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has 72.80 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, weather
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
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has 72.75 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
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