The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
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Chuck Norris pitties Mr. T.
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Chuck Norris won a game of chess with checker pieces.
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Chuck Norris roundhoused some wannabe cop named Agent Sasevel so hard that it rearranged the letters of his name to Steven Seagal.
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Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
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Chuck Norris bowled a perfect game... While using a golf ball.
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If looks could kill they would be called Chuck Norris.
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With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
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Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
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