Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up!
When Chuck Norris falls over, the ground needs a band-aid
Chuck Norris can turn a vegan into a cannibal.
Once, Chuck Norris told Nike to "just do it..." and it did.
Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
Chuck Norris will never die. The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.
Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.