Chuck Norris can scratch sandpaper.
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While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
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Few people can go down Niagra Falls in a barrel.
Chuck Norris can go up Niagra Falls in a carboard box.
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The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
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Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
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"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
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Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
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James Bond's license to kill was approved by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris is so fast that when he runs, he can see his back.
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Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....
After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra
Eventually died
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