Chuck Norris beat a laser beam in a race.
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Chuck Norris can choke you to life.
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Chuck Norris can smoke underwater.
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Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights.
His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
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Chuck Norris is in every action film ever made but sometimes he only shows up as EXPLOSIONS.
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Chuck Norris can give you a wet willie with a dry finger.
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In the Matrix, the bullets try to dodge Chuck Norris - and fail.
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Chuck Norris has walked to the end of the universe and back.
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Once, Chuck Norris only filled his name in on the SAT.
He got a perfect score.
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Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
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