If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights. His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
Chuck Norris is so fast that when he runs, he can see his back.
Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
NASA is negotiating with Chuck Norris about using his roundhouse kick as a propulsion to get to Mars.
Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
Chuck Norris can switch his motorcycle to four-wheel drive.