Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Chuck Norris douses all his food in diesel fuel and sets it on fire, 'cuz he likes it mildly spicy.
When Chuck Norris sets his watch, he sets time itself.
Chuck Norris gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
Chuck Norris can smoke underwater.
Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights. His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris doesn't sweat. He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
Chuck Norris was bitten by a cobra, cobra died after 5 days.
Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.