The best Chuck Norris jokes

Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
Vote:
has 64.93 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
Vote:
has 64.90 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: catholic, christian, Chuck Norris, vulgar
There was no Big Bang at the beginning of the Universe, Chuck Norris simply sneezed.
Vote:
has 64.89 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris won the World Horseshoe Pitching Contest while they were still attached to a Clydesdale.
Vote:
has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris asks you to stop mid-sentence, you.
Vote:
has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can throw a house through a window.
Vote:
has 64.81 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris had a staring contest with a picture. And Won.
Vote:
has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
In Radiant Spirits, Solari's body temprature is 120 degrees. Chuck Norris's body temprature is about 151 degrees.
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris went up the creek without a paddle... or a canoe.
Vote:
has 64.78 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
<<<35363738
More jokes →
Page 35 of 250.