The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.
Vote: has 74.14 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris does not open doors. Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
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Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
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In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.
Vote: has 74.08 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris, technology, time
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
Vote: has 74.05 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

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People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't stupid.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, stupid
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Vote: has 73.93 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights. His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
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When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death