Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.
Chuck Norris does not open doors. Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
Even though Chuck Norris' lives in Dallas, Texas, his house still has spectacular views of both the Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
People have near-death experiences. Death has Near-Chuck-Norris experiences.
When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't stupid.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Chuck Norris believes in victim's rights. His victims have the right to dig their own graves before he kills them.
When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.