Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
When Chuck Norris goes through airport security he makes them take their shoes off.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris can experience a once in a life time occurrence... twice.
Chuck Norris can count the number of corners in a circle.
2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can get breakfast at McDonalds after 11, at Taco Bell.
Chuck Norris' toothpaste doesn't have baking soda in it, it has gunpowder in it.
There is no backspace button on Chuck Norris' keyboard. Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
CNN tells about every disaster around the world. CNN is actually Chuck Norris News.