Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife.
"Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning.
That's how tough his beard is.
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In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.
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Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
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You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex?
Because he never fucks up.
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Chuck Norris does not open doors.
Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
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Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
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Chuck Norris can in fact eat water.
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When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
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Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag.
Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
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