Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.
In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.
Chuck Norris knows how to kill you in more ways than you know how to die.
You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
Chuck Norris does not open doors. Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
Chuck Norris can in fact eat water.
When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.
Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag. Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.