When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
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The role of terminator was originaly played by Chuck Norris, but they decided against it as no-one would want to shit their pants for two hours strait.
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Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
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If you see the Blue Screen of Death on your laptop... it's because Chuck Norris found out you were reading Chuck Norris jokes.
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Chuck Norris is so fast, he can startle his own reflection.
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Chuck Norris's sign language is heard around the world.
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Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
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Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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