The best Chuck Norris jokes

Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.
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Chuck Norris once dropped a glass vase onto the floor. The glass apologized for breaking in his presence.
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Chuck Norris can make you fold a Royal Flush.
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Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive? A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
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Chuck Norris can paste something before he copies it.
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Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"
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Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
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Chuck Norris once played himself in Russian Roulette, and he won. No Questions asked.
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