The best Chuck Norris jokes

The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
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Chuck Norris gives poison ivy a rash.
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With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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One day Chuck Norris wanted to make a prank to whole world. So Justin Bieber was created.
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There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist.
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Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
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Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
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Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.
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Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
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