Chuck Norris can make music in Adobe Photoshop.
Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
In the Matrix, the bullets try to dodge Chuck Norris - and fail.
Most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
The original CBS Survivor series was filmed in Chuck's mansion. No episode aired, as no one survived.
Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
One day Chuck Norris wanted to make a prank to whole world. So Justin Bieber was created.
Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
Chuck Norris won American Idol, only using sign language.