Daylight Savings happened when Chuck Norris overslept an hour.
Chuck Norris once dropped a glass vase onto the floor. The glass apologized for breaking in his presence.
Chuck Norris can make you fold a Royal Flush.
Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive? A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
Chuck Norris can paste something before he copies it.
Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"
Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
Chuck Norris once played himself in Russian Roulette, and he won. No Questions asked.