Chuck Norris pitties Mr. T.
Chuck Norris' muscles are so developed that he's had intellectual conversations with them.
"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burnt; that would be a foolish thing for the sun to do.
Superman's weakness isn't kryptonite, it's obvious who it is...
Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"