Give Chuck Norris a piece of coal and he'll give you back a diamond.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
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Chuck Norris is the ghost in paranormal activity.
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Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
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Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
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Chuck Norris can make a dog bark the alphabet, in spanish, backwards.
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Chuck Norris does not open doors.
Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
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Chuck Norris can put out fire with gasoline.
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Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
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