You know why Chuck Norris is always on top during sex? Because he never fucks up.
In high school, teachers had to raise up their hand to speak to Chuck Norris.
There was no Big Bang at the beginning of the Universe, Chuck Norris simply sneezed.
Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
The first thing James Cameron saw when he reached the Challenger Deep was Chuck Norris snorkeling down to test his new watch.
Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
Chuck Norris was bitten by a werewolf. When full moon came, the werewolf turned into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!