Despite popular belief, there is no such thing as a tornado. Chuck Norris just doesn't like trailer parks.
When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't stupid.
Chuck Norris can jump without leaving the ground.
When the fire department catches fire, they call Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.
Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
Chuck Norris once walked down a street with his fists in his pockets. He was then arrested for concealing two deadly weapons.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
You know the movie, Alien VS Predator? Well it used to be called Alien VS Predator VS Chuck Norris, but no body would pay to see a fight 7 seconds long.
The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.