The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can peel an orange with his eyelids, but he rarely needs Vitamin C.
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There is a plaque laid next to the remnants of the Titanic which reads, "Only Chuck Norris is unsinkable"
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50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
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Chuck Norris can remember the future.
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Chuck Norris doesn't buy life insurance, life buys Chuck insurance.
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Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
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Chuck Norris knows what pi tastes like.
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Superman's weakness is kryptonite, kryptonite's weakness is Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris visits Egypt, the sand didn't burn his feet, his feet burnt the sand, hence the discovery of glass.
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Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
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