The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
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Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
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One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.
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Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
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Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris to say the famous line "I'm the king of the world."
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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Chuck Norris can put out fire with gasoline.
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