Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear... Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear
The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
The phrase "Just a second" comes from the time it takes for Chuck Norris to heat up a cup of coffee... with his breath.
Rambo is simply Chuck Norris disguised as Sylvester Stalone playing tag.
Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
Chuck Norris has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way.
Chuck Norris invented the printing press by putting two pieces of blank paper together.
Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.