Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
One time Chuck Norris saluted an American flag and it blushed.
Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris to say the famous line "I'm the king of the world."
If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
Chuck Norris can put out fire with gasoline.