Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
Remember the Leia scene from The Last Jedi? That wasn't the force, it was Chuck Norris resurrecting Carrie Fischer.
Chuck Norris can hear sign language.
Rambo is simply Chuck Norris disguised as Sylvester Stalone playing tag.
Chuck Norris doesn't travel at the speed of light, light travels at the speed of Chuck Norris!
Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
When Jacques Cousteau reached the bottom of the sea he found Chuck Norris snorkeling.
Chuck Norris can make a dog bark the alphabet, in spanish, backwards.
Q: What is the sound of Chuck Norris clapping one hand? A: Thunder.
Chuck Norris is so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking at him.