The best Chuck Norris jokes

Voldemort refers to Chuck Norris as he who shall not be named.
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Chuck Norris can drown a fish.
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When Bell invented the telephone, there were already three Chuck Noris missed calls.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
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Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris dosen't get lost... Everything around him is in the wrong place!
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Chuck Norris can actually describe the taste of purified water.
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