Chuck Norris really can get chicken from a tuna can.
During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3." All was good.
Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
Chuck Norris once broke the law... with his fists.
Chuck Norris can jump without leaving the ground.