The world won't end in 2012, it will end when Chuck Norris gets bored of it.
Chuck Norris once won a Poker tournament using only Pokemon cards.
Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up. Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
Chuck Norris adds Facebook as a friend.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris' feminine side is manlier than the manliest man's manly side.
Chuck Norris never uses a navigation system. The direction he is heading is ALWAYS the right direction.
Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
Chuck Norris can send an e-mail with a pencil.
Fire trucks and ambulances pull to the shoulder when chuck Norris drives by.