Chuck Norris never has a deja vu. No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
Chuck Norris once stared death in the face... Death pissed his pants.
Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
They wanted to put Chuck Norris's face on Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard.
Chuck Norris adds Facebook as a friend.
Chuck Norris can sit in the shade...in an open field.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can startle his own reflection.
Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."
Chuck Norris doesn't lift weights he tells his muscles to get bigger.
Lou Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth, no one knew that it was because he was soon getting away from Chuck Norris.