Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
When Death knocked on Chuck Norris’s door, Chuck Norris laughed. Death is now Chuck Norris’s B*tch.
Chuck Norris can make a robot bleed.
Chuck Norris once stitched up a cut in his arm with a spoon.
Chuck norris once ate a rubix cube and pooped it out solved.
Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can dodge rain.
Chuck Norris does, in fact, put his pants on two legs at a time.
Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
In 1945 Chuck Norris drank a Redbull and jumped out a plane. For image results, Google the word Hiroshima.
Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.