Chuck Norris was mauled by a bear once, then the bear woke up and apologized.
Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
Curiosity didn't kill the cat. Chuck Norris did.
Chuck Norris gives poison ivy a rash.
When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out. When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
Only Chuck Norris can tell you the answer to your question before you ask it.
No matter how fast you run, Chuck Norris will always walk faster.
Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.