Out of 500 fights Chuck Norris has won 600.
Chuck Norris is never late... time is just early.
Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
In the medical community, death is referred to as "Chuck Norris Disease".
Most kids pee their name into snow... Chuck Norris pisses his in concreate...
Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals. Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
Chuck Norris can stare you to death while looking the other direction!
Santa writes to Chuck Norris about what he wants for Christmas.
If looks could kill they would be called Chuck Norris.
The best part of waking up is not the Folgers in your cup, it's knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.