The best Chuck Norris jokes

Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.
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Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
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Chuck Norris gets younger by the kill.
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Chuck Norris will never die. The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
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Chuck Norris wrote the Assassins creed!
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Lightning doesn't strike Chuck Norris, chuck norris strikes lightning!
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Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
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NASA is negotiating with Chuck Norris about using his roundhouse kick as a propulsion to get to Mars.
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Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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More jokes about: catholic, christian, Chuck Norris, vulgar