Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
Chuck Norris can skip a track on a cassette.
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
Chuck Norris beat a laser beam in a race.
Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
Chuck Norris once played himself in Russian Roulette, and he won. No Questions asked.
Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
Chuck Norris just completed a full round of Golf... In 17 shots.
Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
Rome wasn't built in a day because they didn't ask Chuck Norris for help.