Chuck Norris is so hot he makes the sun sweat.
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Chuck Norris doesn't read books.
He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
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The sun is Chuck Norris's pocket flashlight.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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Guns sleep with a picture of Chuck Norris under their pillows.
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Chuck Norris won a game of chess with checker pieces.
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Cancer gets checked for Chuck Norris.
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The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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Electricity pays Chuck Norris to light up his house.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving.
He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
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