Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.
Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
Chuck Norris dosen't need to stand on top of the empire state building to kill someone with a penny.
Chuck Norris doesn't shave, his beard grows to the perfect length and stops.
"Between a rock and a hard place" refers to Chuck Norris' fists.
When Chuck Norris plays dodge ball... the balls dodge him.
When Columbus discovered America, Chuck Norris has already worked there as Texas ranger.
Chuck Norris can't be in a 3D movie because the entire room would feel his roundhouse kicks.
In 2011 someone asked Chuck Norris if he had ever been to Portugal. He answered: "Where?" The country went bankrupt.
The Grimm Reaper lost his job the day Chuck Norris was born.