The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris has heard the actual voice of Charlie Brown's teacher...
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When Chuck Norris bakes cookies for his enemies, he adds his own secret ingredient to make a special taste to it. Its called "defeat".
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There are two types of people in the world... people that suck, and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
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Chuck Norris can simply walk into Mordor.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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Ghosts actually have their own kind of tv. The show that scares them the most is called "Chuck Norris Caught On Tape".
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Bill Gates lives in fear Chuck Norris' PC will crash.
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Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF! Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
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