Once while having s*x in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and ran into the engine.
We now know this truck....as Optimus Prime.
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Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability.
Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse-kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back.
The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming.
They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
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There are no weapons of mass destruction.
Just Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris became a firefighter, after hearing of his decision fire ceased to be an element.
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Chuck Norris can run a nuclear power station using a rowing machine.
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Chuck Norris is so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking at him.
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Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics.
In the same event. From home.
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Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower.
He uses Meteor Showers.
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Chuck Norris can pop scissors with a balloon.
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Chuck Norris won American Idol, only using sign language.
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