Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
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Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to mow his lawn, He dares the grass to grow.
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The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.
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The Sun is Chuck Norris' camp fire.
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CBS hired Chuck Norris to replace Charlie Sheen, now the show is called Ten and half Men.
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Chuck Norris never bathes.
Dirt is too afraid to cling to him.
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