The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris has never used a question mark in his life.
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Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
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Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
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Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in three different languages.
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Chuck Norris has clicked the unclickable button... twice
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Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
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When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
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The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
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