According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan. When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
Mortal Kombat is not difficult enough for Chuck Norris, so he got Immortal Kombat.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks. They fold under pressure.
The truth hurts dosen't it, Chuck Norris' truth kills.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
There are no comets. Only people that Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked so hard that they are now in permanent orbit in our solar system.
Beetlejuice is afraid to say Chuck Norris 3 times.