When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
Chuck Norris does not need deodorant because sweat instantly runs away.
Chuck Norris found the fountain of youth, but...he wasn't thirsty.
Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar... the beer starts to run.
Chuck Norris's sign language is heard around the world.
Chuck Norris CAN read Lady Gaga's poker face.
Chuck Norris won the gold, silver and bronze medals at the Olympics. In the same event. From home.
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.