Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
When Chuck Norris opens a bag of Doritos, it's fucking full!
"Let bygones be bygones" is always subject to Chuck Norris' approval.
Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Finally, they discovered real cause of Bruce Lee's death – extreme exhaustion from fight with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris actually died a while back. Death just can't get the nerve to tell him.
When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
Leonardo DiCaprio only starred in Inception because if he didn't, Chuck Norris will enter his dream and roundhouse kick him into limbo.
Chuck Norris blows out trick candles.
Where does the devil go when he dies? He goes to Chuck Norris for an eternity of roundhouse kicks.