The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
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According to CNN, Chuck Norris was commanding the SEAL team in Afghanistan. When Osama found that out, he shot himself in the head.
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Mortal Kombat is not difficult enough for Chuck Norris, so he got Immortal Kombat.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
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Chuck Norris reads with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris doesn't break bricks. They fold under pressure.
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The truth hurts dosen't it, Chuck Norris' truth kills.
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Chuck Norris tangled with Wolverine. He beat to him to a bloody pulp, then dared him to heal himself. Wolverine will not be in the next X-Men movie.
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Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
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