The Expendables 2 is actually a documentary film showing Chuck Norris killing people.
Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
Chuck Norris beat Super Mario Galaxie 2 in the big dipper... before Nintendo was invented.
Only Chuck Norris can cross the "Beyond" section of Bed, Bath and Beyond store.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
If Chuck were in the movie Nightmare On Elm Street then it would be renamed nightmare on Chuck Norris Street, cuz nobody dared to get near him.
The only mark ever made on Chuck Norris is his birth mark.
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
Chuck Norris can over rev a revolver.
Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.