Chuck Norris only works out once a year... that's about all the gym equipment can take.
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Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
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I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
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If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
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Chuck Norris has never won a single fight.
Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
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Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
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Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
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Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
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Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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