Never ask Chuck Norris for an autograph.
Why?
Because Chuck's signature is a straight roundhouse kick to the face.
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If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
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Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
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Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
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Chuck Norris once hit 3 touchdowns during a friendly game of full-contact bowling.
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Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
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Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
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Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
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I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
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