Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
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I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
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Chuck Norris makes Power Point look weak.
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Chuck Norris can drive a solar-powered car at night.
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Chuck Norris once hit 3 touchdowns during a friendly game of full-contact bowling.
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Chuck Norris has never won a single fight.
Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
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Chuck Norris haunts ghosts.
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Chuck Norris doesn't smile, his mouth smiles for him.
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Chuck Norris can eat soup with a fork.
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Chuck Norris is what you get when you open a can of whoop-butt.
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