When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
Chuck Norris blows out trick candles.
Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple. Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
Chuck Norris' beard has a tattoo.
When Chuck Norris donates blood, he gives twenty gallons. None of it is his own.
When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
Somebody said that Chuck sucks, since then their severed head with many foot marks have been found...
Chuck Norris thought 24 was a sit-com.
My friend to me "I don't understand why Chuck Norris is the butt of so many jokes." Me to the friend "Well he does kick a lot of them."