When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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Chuck Norris once got careless and accidentally locked his drawer key inside his drawer, with a lock that needs the key to lock.
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Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
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I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
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Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
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It is a fact that Chuck Norris cannot cry, this is because his tearducts are too muscular.
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The only time Chuck Norris has ever faced a worthy opponent is when he looked at himself in the mirror.
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Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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