Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
Chuck Norris is the ghost in paranormal activity.
Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name. It's called the internet.
Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.
Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls... He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
Chuck Norris is the four horsemen of the apocalypse!
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.