The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris never reads the News – because Chuck Norris IS the News.
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He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life
Alien from "A.V.P" is just Chuck Norris' Gecko.
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Trains stop at Chuck Norris crossings.
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During vacation my front door's open and I left a note saying "This house is protected by Chuck Norris 3 days a week you guess which 3." All was good.
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Once the A-Team used to take care of the bad guys. Then came Chuck Norris. Ever since, the A-Team has been known as the Ghostbusters.
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Google is setting up a new search engine to answer life's difficult and most complex questions with the response always being the same... Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, IT, life
If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, health
Chuck Norris gives poison ivy a rash.
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Chuck Norris took a nap. The result was the Great Depression.
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