Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man. When the last line is drawn, that man dies!
Never look a gift Chuck Norris in the mouth, because he will bite your damn eyes off.
Originally it was called 'Chuck Norris Mode' but he decided to let god have that one because Chuck Norris is humble like that.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Someone once videotaped Chuck Norris getting pissed off. It was called Walker: Texas Chain Saw Masacre.
Chuck can use "save" in real life. But he doesn't need it.
Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
Chuck Norris can facebook through a calculator.
Chuck Norris can watch DVD's on a VCR.