When Chuck Norris watches a horror movie, Chuck Norris dosen't scream, the movie does.
Chuck Norris dosn't have a star on Hollywood Blvd he has a constellation.
Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
Show me a man with a nub for an index finger, and I'll show you a man that asked Chuck Norris to "Pull my Finger"
When Chuck Norris was 5 he threw a paper airplane. It landed yesterday.
Chuck Norris went sky diving 50 times. He used a parachute twice.
Chuck Norris can hammer a wall into a nail.
Chuck Norris can bungee jump with out a rope.
Chuck Norris caught them all with one PokeBall.
Chuck Norris can scratch sandpaper.