Chuck Norris once won a drag race with a unicycle.
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When Death knocked on Chuck Norris’s door, Chuck Norris laughed.
Death is now Chuck Norris’s B*tch.
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When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat.
The weights do.
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Chuck Norris can make a stop sign say go.
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Chuck Norris couldn't act in Titanic because he would have saved everyone.
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Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He moves the ground away from him.
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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When Chuck Norris cuts onions, the onins cry.
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If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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If there's something strange...
In your neighborhood... Who ya gonna call?...
CHUCK NORRIS!
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