Scientists have developed a way to travel through time, by being on the recieving end of a roundhouse kick by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can hear his phone ring on silent.
Shhhhh... Did you hear that? Chuck did.
When a zombie apocalypse starts, Chuck Norris doesn't try to survive. The zombies do.
When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out. When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
Chuck Norris does not open doors. Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
Chuck doesn't have e-mail, he has HE-mail.
The dark side of the moon is the side that cowers in fear of Chuck Norris.