Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
Chuck Norris is the 51st state.
When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.
After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
The Grinch stole Christmas until Chuck Norris ordered him to return it.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
Chuck Norris can keep up with the Kardashians.
The Playstation Network is down because Chuck Norris unplugged his PS3.
Chuck Norris once dropped a glass vase onto the floor.
The glass apologized for breaking in his presence.