Chuck Norris "Caught 'Em All " twice.
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Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
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Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
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Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
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Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
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Chuck Norris is the 51st state.
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When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.
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After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
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While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
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When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.
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