Chuck Norris "Caught 'Em All " twice.
Chuck Norris doesn't pay the government, the government pays him.
Chuck Norris does not require food, drink, shelter, or sleep, only confirmed kills.
Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
When Chuck Norris has a bone to pick, it's always the jawbone.
After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
While urinating, Chuck Norris is easily capable of welding titanium.
When Chuck Norris throws a throwing knife, the knife doesn't kill his victim, the force of the air did.