When Columbus discovered America, Chuck Norris has already worked there as Texas ranger.
Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag. Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.
Chuck Norris was the reason the Titanic sank. The iceberg was just a cover-up.
Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
Chuck Norris can flip a coin and make it land on both sides at the same time.
Chuck Norris can win a game of chess by saying "Yahtzee!"
Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
Gravity obeys Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris made Stevie Wonder flinch.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a License to drive a car... The car needs a special license to be driven by Chuck Norris.