When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.
The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
Chuck Norris can drive to the moon... on foot.
Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
In the Matrix, the bullets try to dodge Chuck Norris - and fail.