The best Chuck Norris jokes

When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
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Chuck Norris can send you a roundhouse kick by E-Mail.
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The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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Q: How many licks does it take Chuck Norris to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? A: Zero. He simply stares at the candy and the outer coating is gone.
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The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
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Chuck Norris can drive to the moon... on foot.
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Chuck Norris can literally kill time.
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Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
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In the Matrix, the bullets try to dodge Chuck Norris - and fail.
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