Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
If you took all the worlds Super Heroes and combined them, Chuck would still kill them instantly.
Chuck Norris paints little red wagons for a living with his victim's blood. But not the wheels. That's just wrong.
Chuck Norris destroyed the Lord of Rings. Twice.
Chuck Norris has a daugter: Jason Bourne.
The only time Chuck Norris made a mistake was when he thought he made a mistake
Chuck Norris goes to Silent Hill for the weekends.
Chuck Norris once climbed the empire state building and roundhouse kicked the human spider off the top.
The party only starts when Chuck Norris walks in.
In the beginning, God created light because Chuck allowed him to.