Yoda used to be 6 feet tall till he tried that Force crap on Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris had to write a story on bravery he got a A+ for writting his name.
Chuck Norris not only speaks in the third person, he sees in the third person.
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
When Norris hits the road, he destroys it.
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
To finally solve whether Mona-Lisa is smiling or not, Chuck Norris took a quick look at it. She's crying
Chuck Norris steps into the confession booth. The Priests confess his sins.
When Columbus discovered America, Chuck Norris has already worked there as Texas ranger.
Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up. Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!