Wanna know how Chuck Norris grew his beard? He didn't, his beard grew him.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Where was your mom last night? At Chuck Norris' place.
Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police. They are used as bullet proof vests.
Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner. The corner always backs away.
Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
Cement took a teaspoon of Chuck Norris to harden up!
If, by some incredible space-time parodox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
Chuck Norris's motorcycle has 4WD.