Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
When Chuck Norris talks, E.F. Hutton listens.
Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police. They are used as bullet proof vests.
Chuck Norris cannot be put in a corner. The corner always backs away.
Chuck Norris can make his own reflection vomit with fear.
Cement took a teaspoon of Chuck Norris to harden up!
Wanna know how Chuck Norris grew his beard? He didn't, his beard grew him.
Where was your mom last night? At Chuck Norris' place.
When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.