You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right? Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla". Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
When Norris hits the road, he destroys it.
When Chuck Norris breaks a sweat... he tries to do it as quickly as possible so as not to hurt it.
Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was recently hospitalize, because Chuck Norris poked him.
When Jacques Cousteau reached the bottom of the sea he found Chuck Norris snorkeling.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.