Chuck Norris does not open doors.
Tthe doors have the common courtesy to open for him
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When Chuck Norris wants salad, he eats a vegetarian.
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Nobody has ever told Chuck Norris a yo-mama joke and lived to tell about it.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
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Chuck Norris dosen't get lost...
Everything around him is in the wrong place!
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Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.
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Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
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Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
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Chuck Norris doesn't hold any world records, he broke them all.
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If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
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