An eclipse is just the suns attempt to hide from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
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Chuck Norris never gets dirty.
The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
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Chuck Norris destroyed all life in a place called Happy Valley.
We know it today as Death Valley.
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it.
Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar.
The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically.
"That's amazing," said the bartender.
"Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby.
"Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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Chuck Norris won American Idol, only using sign language.
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can sit at the corner of a round table
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Chuck Norris doesn't blink...reality pauses.
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Chuck Norris went sky diving 50 times.
He used a parachute twice.
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