Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
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Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris texts with punctuation.
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Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
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Cocaine is Addicted to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can sink a hole in none!
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Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum.
Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
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Chuck Norris gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
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Prisons don’t keep society safe from criminals.
Prisons keep criminals safe from Chuck Norris, for now.
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