Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
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When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
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When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
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Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
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Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
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Chuck Norris once went logging and took down a forest.
Then he came back for his axe.
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Chuck Norris has one pet. It's name is fear.
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Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy.
That is why there is no life on any of them.
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When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out.
When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
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Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
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