Armageddon is defined as the day Chuck Norris gets bored with us.
When Chuck Norris gets nominated for the ALS ice bucket challenge, the bucket donates $1000 to ALS research.
When Chuck Norris eats dinner at a restaurant, the wait staff tips him.
Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Ghosts are actually caused by Chuck Norris killing people faster than Death can process them.
Chuck Norris once went logging and took down a forest. Then he came back for his axe.
Chuck Norris has one pet. It's name is fear.
Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy. That is why there is no life on any of them.
When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out. When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.