The list of names at the end of every Chuck Norris film is the list of people he's killed.
Big Foot discovered Chuck Norris and hid in the forest.
Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow? You just don't follow him that close!
Chuck Norris' yawn put people in comas.
Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
If Chuck Norris movies were in 3D, the audience would be dead.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up!
Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
Chuck Norris once ate a bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.