The best Chuck Norris jokes

Chuck Norris steps into the confession booth. The Priests confess his sins.
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has 67.64 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, priest, religious
Chuck Norris has one pet. It's name is fear.
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has 67.52 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris went to every planet in the galaxy. That is why there is no life on any of them.
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has 67.39 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
The two thousand member Catholic church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church. One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons. The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!" Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the alter boy. After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit. The men put their weapons away and said, gently, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the Mass."
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has 67.39 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: catholic, christian, Chuck Norris, vulgar
When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out. When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can do push-ups with his beard.
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls. The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris adds Facebook as a friend.
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has 67.29 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Facebook
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, Chuck Norris, time
Chuck Norris is so powerful that when he goes fishing, the fish are so scared they drown.
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, fish
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