Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
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Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
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Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the f*** down.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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Rudolph has a red nose because he got lippy and Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him across the face several times.
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If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.
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When cops pull Chuck Norris over, THEY try to talk THEIR way out of it.
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Chuck Norris is Darth Vaders father.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick with his arms.
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