Chuck Norris doesn't think he's better than everyone, everyone thinks Chuck Norris is better than them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs.
They come on when HE wants them to.
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If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple.
Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
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If Chuck Norris was in Lord of the Rings, he wouldn't need to take it to Mount Doom, he would destroy it with one roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
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Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
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Chuck Norris blows out trick candles.
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Black Holes are places where parallel universes are hiding from Chuck Norris.
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