The best Chuck Norris jokes

The universe expands because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris's sign language is heard around the world.
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Chuck Norris can find a hay in a needle stack.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have to face the consequences, the consequences have to face Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can't fly, gravity just looks the other way when he leaves the ground.
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Originally Chuck Norris was in the cast of "The Expendables" but the movie was only 3 seconds long because there was nothing left to kill.
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Chuck Norris can milk birds.
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Chuck Norris once rolled a dice. It landed on tails.
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The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris uses an air bag... in order to protect the inside of his car in case he stops too fast.
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