Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
Cavemen didn't invent fire Chuck Norris mearly clicked his fingers and gave it to them.
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.
Chuck Norris can eat rice with one chop stick.
Chuck Norris gives Freddy Krueger nightmares.
Sticks and stones may break your bones but Chuck Norris' fists will kill you.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear steel toes, his toes already are.