Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
When you insult Chuck Norris, the next thing you are going to see is a bunch of halos.
Not even Houdini can escape from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris cleans up crime... with a mop and bucket... full of people's blood.
Chuck Norris can do the splits in mid air,rotate his hips 360" so fast it lifts him off the ground thus making the Chuck Copter!
Chuck Norris eats granite and drinks lava for his lunch.
Law of Gravity doesn't apply to Chuck Norris, he enforces it... with a round house kick.
Cavemen didn't invent fire Chuck Norris mearly clicked his fingers and gave it to them.
Chuck Norris always has s*x on the bottom. Because he never f*cks up.