In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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Chuck Norris didn't grow a beard, a beard grew Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can make a dog bark the alphabet, in spanish, backwards.
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Chuck Norris has an Xbox Live account. On Playstation
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Chuck Norris invented the internet so that he could reach his enemies, preferably ninjas.
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One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart.
The clerk told him to have a nice day.
The next day the clerk was found dead.
The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why.
He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
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Chuck Norris dropped the apple on Isaac Newtons Head.
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He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.
He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
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When Chuck Norris goes to the cinema, he changes the movies with his remote control.
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Chuck Norris saw the Invisible Man.
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In a fight between Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee, Chuck Norris would win.
No questions.
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