In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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If they made a movie of Chuck Norris standing still, it would be rated R for extreme violence.
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Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
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Chuck Norris is spelled with a silent "awesome".
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When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens.
And dies.
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When Chuck Norris lifts weights, the weights get stronger.
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Chuck Norris once had a bet with the Hulk, the loser had to paint himself green.
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Stonehenge was made by Chuck Norris stacking blocks as a baby.
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Chuck Norris once donated blood to a man, hes' known as Super Man.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
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