In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there.
In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
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Chuck Norris does not know about this website.
If he did he would have just deleted the internet.
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Chuck Norris doesn't submit his own facts because Chuck Norris doesn't submit, period.
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When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
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The Yeti can't be found because it Chuck Norris made sure no one ever finds it.
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Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple.
Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
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Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use GUI, he prefers the command line.
Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
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Usually when kids go to sleep they sleep with a teddy bear...
Chuck Norris sleeps with an actual bear
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