In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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Chuck Norris once had a weak moment, just to know what it felt like.
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Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.
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Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive?
A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
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Chuck Norris can blow up things, without a bomb.
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If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you.
If you can't see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.
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There was no Big Bang at the beginning of the Universe, Chuck Norris simply sneezed.
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Chuck Norris invented the question mark... so he could say the sentence "Do you want to die slowly of fast?"
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Chuck Norris can only text if the phone's touch screen is bullet proof.
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Chuck Norris doesn't jump. He moves the ground away from him.
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Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent.
They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
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