In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
Chuck Norris asked his script writer for more dialogue and the script writer said "Chuck you mean more grunting?"
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
Ali Baba said "Open sesame" to open the secret entrance to the treasure, but little did he know that saying "Open Chuck Norris" opens all doors.
Chuck Norris doesn’t shave; he kicks himself in the face. The only thing that can cut Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was once asked to place his legs and fists in the cargo bay of a plane because weapons aren't allowed in the cabin.
Jesus is the son of God. God is the son of Chuck Norris.
All men are created equal. Equally inferior to Chuck Norris.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can whistle in five different languages, including sign language.
Chuck Norris once rolled a dice. It landed on tails.