In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.
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Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name.
It's called the internet.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get drunk.
He simply lowers his IQ to yours.
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There is only one award higher than the medal of Honor: The Chuck Norris Medal of Roundhouse.
No mortal man has ever earned it.
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Chuck Norris can speak Japanese... in French.
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In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.
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Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined.
Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
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April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
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Once upon a time, Chuck Norris moved a Mack truck out of his way.
We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.
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Note to self:
Don’t be the cashier to tell Chuck Norris his coupons have expired.
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Chuck Norris' keyboad has no delete key.
Chuck Norris never makes a mistake!
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